So your attention span ain't what it used to be? There seems to be a lot of that going on, judging by ... what were we saying again? Oh yeah, that attention span thing: If you're finding it tough to stay focused for the full two-and-a-half minutes it takes for the average punk rock song to run its course, you're gonna love Short Music for Short People, a compilation assembled by the fine folks at Fat Wreck Chords. Clocking in at standard album length, the set brings together 101 songs, each lasting less than thirty seconds, by such three-chord titans as Green Day, the Offspring, the Damned and Bad Religion . . .
A lot of people have claimed that the voice of Johnny Cash made them see God -- which makes it only fitting that the Man in Black be chosen to bring forth the voice of the Big Guy (among other Biblical folk) as narrator of a newly-compiled Electronic Bible. Cash will read more than 400 of his favorite scriptures for the project -- and no wimping out by sticking to those short "Jesus wept" -- styled verses, either. Cash's version of the Good Book -- er, make that the Good Disc -- will be issued by New Jersey-based Franklin Media later this year . . .
A hint to anyone planning on hosting a charity event for an animal-rights group: Don't leave bits and pieces of animals -- particularly lovable ones -- lying around in plain sight. The folks at London's exclusive Home House club found that out when they held a Linda McCartney tribute that was turned on its ear when PETA pal Chrissie Hynde noticed an umbrella stand that was fashioned from the hoof of an elephant. A fuming Hynde nearly made a break for the door when she was stopped by security who detained her for nearly half an hour while PETA prexy Dan Mathews huddled with clubowners. The upshot? Rather than risk the wrath of Chrissie, Home House agreed to donate the item to PETA, which will use it as a visual aid in efforts to illustrate animal abuse in everyday (high) life . . .
When country legend Buck Owens talks about picking up a little something to spruce up his Crystal Palace nightclub, he doesn't fool around. Owens just forked over a little more than $175,000 to buy a forty-ton sign that was once used to welcome visitors to his homebase of Bakersfield, Calif. The sign -- sort of a low-rent version of Hollywood's -- actually acted as a footbridge for visitors as well, until earthquakes, rust and too many cowboy-booted kicks almost did it in. Restoration of the behemoth sign will be completed by July 4, according to Owens . . .
DAVID SPRAGUE
(April 23, 1999)
