Michael Jackson once went to great pains to buy the bones of the so-called Elephant Man, but Madonna looks set to go him one better -- by becoming the proud owner of the corpse of one of Jackie Kennedy's exes. The Material Girl has reportedly been mulling over a real-estate deal that would give her a private Greek island, one that just happens to include the grave of multi-billionaire Aristotle Onassis. Madonna has made several trips to the isla bonita, but is said to be a bit concerned about the mortgage payments one would have to shell out on a $300 million purchase. We don't see any reason for concern, since the residuals from Swept Away should take care of the first fifteen minutes or so . . .
In a move that will surely have the nation's finest legal minds stretching to redefine the definition of "cruel and unusual punishment," the gents in charge of New York's Dannemora Prison have chosen to subject jailed rapper Shyne to the ultimate punishment -- namely, shutting the hell up. Wardens yanked the Brooklyn MC's phone privileges after he broke every single one of the institution's communication rules, including having calls transferred, conducting business over the phone and calling unauthorized media contacts. On the bright side, his collection of furs and diamonds have made him very popular on prison talent night, since they add so much to that Judy Garland impression . . .
We've seen aging rockers employ numerous tricks to try to instill a sense of non-geezerhood in their music -- those bloodletting rituals always did wonders for Keith Richards, after all -- but we've gotta give John Mellencamp props for trying something new. The artist formerly known as Cougar is asking the pre-pubescents of this fair land to pitch in and write the lyrics to a spankin' new song about how great it is to be able to speak your mind -- or, in this case, the minds of a gaggle of children you don't even know. Mellencamp, you see, has signed on to be part of Nickelodeon's "Kids Pick the President" campaign, for which he'll assemble a song out of the twenty top entries from around the country. We'll assume in advance that he won't be returning those help-offering calls from Bobby Brown . . .
Add Ray Charles' name to the list of folks who are apparently worth more dead than alive -- at least in the mind of the mother of one of his children. Mary Anne den Bok was perfectly happy to settle for three grand a month in child support for the sixteen-year-old son she had with Charles. But when the music legend shuffled off this mortal coil earlier this year, she suddenly discovered a few new expenses -- enough, in fact, to make her think that sixty thou per month would be more equitable, and would provide son Corey with "the lifestyle he enjoyed" before Charles' death in June. Yeah, that closet full of Prada purses probably enriches the kid's life immeasurably.
