In an apparent bid to get back on their client's good side after failing to get him acquitted of a homicide charge, legal advisors to rapper C-Murder have convinced him to change his name to the somewhat more cuddly C-Miller. The MC, who's probably trying desperately to keep jailmates from finding out that the "C" stands for "Corey," issued a statement explaining that people misinterpreted his former nom de disque, "and didn't realize that the name simply means that [he saw] many murders in [his] native Calliope Projects neighborhood." It's an excuse we can certainly buy, since we had a similar problem back when we went by the handle Public Urination . . .
When we were just getting our feet wet in the gangsta world, we learned that nothing -- other than an MC Hammer wannabe -- was lower than a snitch. That lesson didn't, it seems, trickle down to current-generation hip-hop artists like Lloyd Banks, who stopped a show in Scotland last week in order to see if anyone was willing to spill the beans on who might've committed the heinous deed of throwing a plastic cup in his direction. Banks offered a thousand bucks for information leading to the apprehension of what was obviously a very dangerous criminal, but no one in the audience was willing to co-operate. On the bright side, if the same thing happens eight more times, he'll finally be able to compare himself favorably to 50 Cent . . .
Some folks look to religious leaders to set their moral compass, while others think it's a good idea to get that grounding from leaders in the political arena. We, on the other hand, fall into the camp that prefers to have the bean-counters at the Gap give us a sense of right and wrong. As such, we're relieved that the jean-mongers are reportedly considering giving seventeen-year-old Joss Stone the old heave-ho as spokesmodel because of her relationship with boyfriend Beau Dozier -- who happens to reside on the opposite side of the eighteen-year-old line. European tabloids have suggested that the couple's, er, coupling might be perceived as offensive to Gap customers -- an interesting thought, given the chain's previous dalliances with such paragons of morality as Madonna and that Sex and the City gal who once advised, "If you're going to get a vibrator, get one called the Horse" . . .
Seeing as years of watching the Bengals and Reds ply their trade have acclimated them to settling for bottom-of-the-barrel representatives, we wouldn't be a bit surprised to see the residents of Cincinnati turn out in droves come election day -- to vote for former 98 Degrees member Justin Jeffre. The former Nick Lachey lackey has announced his candidacy for that city's mayoralty -- an office once held by Jerry Springer, whose name was conspicuous by its absence from this year's list of Nobel Prize nominees. This development strikes us as a bit disappointing, since it knocks Lachey himself out of consideration, therefore depriving the nation of seeing Jessica Simpson attempt to nail the correct spelling of the city's name within one year of her hubby taking office . . .
